it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
