Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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