Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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