We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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