Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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