why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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