Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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