Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
