Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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