awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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