You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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