Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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