I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
