Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
