i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
