saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize