Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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