Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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