Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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