The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
