you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
