are you still at the devil's house?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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