haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
