I need help removing her.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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