I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
