It's Friday. Sex?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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