JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
