he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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