I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize