she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
