worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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