So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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