Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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