did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
