all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
