People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
