Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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