my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You are the jesus of drinking
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize