in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
