Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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