Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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