if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
