i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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