somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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