After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
