Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
People in love make me want to vomit
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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