The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
