I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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