Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
