Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
