Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
