We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
