i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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