I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
