so that wasnt chicken after all
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
