I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
