We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize