I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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