just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Couch. On fire.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
