the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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