By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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