I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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